This week’s Bill of Mortality

September 29, 2007

Children poked in the eye by another child who was putting it’s coat on: 1

Children kicked in the head by child not looking where he was going while sitting on the carpet: 2

Children absent through common cold: 4

Children absent through aversion to spelling test: 1

Children absent because mother gave birth: 1

Children claiming stomach cramps during maths: 1 (frequently)

Children kicked in the foot by larger child by accident: 1

Children injured by having face bashed against toilet wall by child with learning difficulties while washing hands: 1

Teeth dropping out mid-lesson: 3

Splinters: 3

Bleeding caused by picking scabs: 5

Kicked in the groin during illicit game of ‘Kung-fu’: 1

Kicked in the head as retaliation during game of ‘Kung-fu’: 1

Children what shit hisself: 1

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