It begins.

Let’s get this started. Some things you will need to know:

• I am a primary school teacher in my 30s.
• Despite what I might say from time to time, I do love children.
• Not like that.
• In a clean way.
• I’ve got six weeks off.
• Yes, that IS the best thing about being a teacher.
• All names on this site have been made up.

I’ve got a long ‘summer’ holiday stretching before me so I thought I might write a blog, I’ve never done so before so if it’s a bit ropey at first I do apologise. Anyway, as I tell the kidz we all make mistakes and learning something new takes time. Unless I’m in a bad mood then I just chase them round the room with a staple gun and meter ruler. Life’s tough, they have to learn. The regularity of my posts may be erratic, maybe more than one a day, especially if I spiral into a twilight world of boredom and alcohol, which is likely. None a day if I’ve overdone it and feel like a tramp after a night on the Special.  I teach Primary for the following reasons:

• Small children are very funny. At least on a par with dancing bears.
• I don’t really like teenagers in groups of more than one.
• I don’t want to teach only one subject.
• Let’s face it, the maths is easier to get my head around, I fucking hate maths.
• Secondary schools seem to be full of strange men with beards and bad ties. I fear them.
• Fights are a lot easier to break up.

I might not always write about teaching. Let’s face it, it’s not that exciting. However it is interesting coming to teaching from a mundane office job, everyone seems to have an opinion on what teachers should be teaching, how they should behave in their private lives and what they should or shouldn’t be paid. It’s like being a politician but without the backhanders and our sexual perversions are a bit lame by comparison. Having said that some of the old boys who taught me in the private sector were probably no strangers to buggery and skat-play.

Another thing about being a teacher is that Joe-public love pointing out any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes we make. Don’t bother. I’m a primary school teacher, not the head of English at Arsehole Comp. The worst for this are the kind of parents who can spot the slightest error in a note home but felt it necessary to put an apostrophe in their child’s name when they scrawled it in crayon on the birth register.

Anyway, that’s my introduction over, I will write more. Soon.